Thursday, February 25, 2010

Thoughts Before Bed

As a former Mountain Dew addict, my relationship with the drink is too personal for me not to spend every waking night thinking about getting singles released by this label, the official online Mountain Dew record label.

What do all these bands get to be on it and we don't? What is this Matt and Kim bullshit? I don't think they've even had a soda, let alone spaced out after drinking ten Dew cans in a row. Their music doesn't sound like drinking a lot of Mountain Dew or sucking down a lot of pixie sticks or Robotripping like everyone claims it does; it sounds like drinking a bunch of Kombucha and holding hands at a Braid concert.

I like his record, but Neon Indian's music doesn't conjure up Dew fantasies for me either. "Chillwave," besides being the worst genre name ever, makes me want to do anything but get green. Pitchfork says Neon Indian sounds like staying up all night and drinking Mountain Dew. You know what sounds like staying up all night drinking Dew, Pitchfork? Shpongle. The Lounge Lizards. BLACK SABBATH.

Our music sounds like Mountain Dew because Mountain Dew is responsible for a lot of it. During the "Jokeland" summer, I was strung out, living can-to-can in our roached-out Dawson Street hovel. I was LIVING Mountain Dew. Suck it, Matt and Kim.

Chromeo, though... I bet they drink a ton of Mtn Dew. That is music that makes me think of enjoying a crisp new Dew on a summer evening in Pittsburgh.


  1. this is bullshit. i found exactly 1 roach in that apartment throughout the entire year that i lived there. hardly what i would call 'roached-out'. moantain dew tastes like ass sweat. the eagles sound like mt. dew